Oh my, I heard the yes-word come out of my own mouth. In a weak moment I said, “Yes, sure, I’ll take a couple of little chairs and work up something to paint on them.” Wait!! I’m not a painter! What was I thinking? It’s a fundraiser project put together by our local Big Stone Lake Area Chamber of Commerce , out here in beautiful western Minnesota farm and lake territory. I didn’t have the heart to say “no”.
Deep breaths, no one else in the house, get started. I have a ramble of self-talk, tucked in the back of my brain, that I pull up front whenever there occurs a shaking sensation in that ball on my shoulders. It goes like this,” Everything is MADE by someone and they had to START at sometime. You could most likely make ANYTHING if you really tried hard enough. Stop thinking about it and START”. Being a crazy little thought, it propels me to jump in and try some things that a country girl should try and then. . . . .sometimes I simply should have had the good sense to turn the volume down, go pull weeds in the pumpkin patch or bake a cake instead.
How do you discern when to listen to the voices in your head ?
One memorable summer day I sewed my husband a pair of underwear. . .you know, just to see if I could. Sure, I could and did. Have any idea how long it takes to sew all of those silly flaps and extra layers that someone decided should be in the front of men’s panties? Binding leg-holes and stretching on elastic? The ‘briefs’ lasted for years and my dear man often bragged(laughed) about his one and only pair of homemade underwear.
Turned the volume UP on my confidence building voice, dug through drawers to find some tiny brushes, snatched a quart of white house paint from the basement shelf and truly enjoyed painting 2 summertime chairs! Not perfect, not sure it’s my calling in life but it was artful, cheerful and. . . I’m done. If we account for the time I spent thinking, painting, fussing around the selling price should be $300! That’s not so very realistic for a tiny chair. Raising money for a good cause-yes. Oh heck, most of the good things in life happen when you forget about money altogether, don’t they?
It felt good to let loose and tell myself, ” You are enough, whatever comes into your mind and jumps off the end of the paint brush will be. . . .what is supposed to be.”